Mood Sticks

Earlier this week, an elegant gentleman of Lady Bracknell's acquaintance suggested (with no great seriousness, it must be admitted) that she might choose to match the colour of her handsome walking stick to her mood, the better for him to judge his opening conversational gambit with care.

This suggestion is not practical given that her ladyship's choice of stick colour is generally dictated by the availability of laundered and ironed garments of a complementary hue. Nevertheless, it is an amusing concept. Lady Bracknell has therefore devoted some thought to the symbolism of each colour should she ever have such a superfluity of garment choices at her fingertips that the scheme could be put into practice. Her conclusions are as follows.

Red: red being a universal indicator of danger or peril, this stick would be carried on days when Lady Bracknell's dander is up.

Blue: a cool colour suitable to those days on which Lady Bracknell is intent on preserving an icy demeanour.

Green: generally associated with envy and jealousy. To be carried on those (rare) days on which Lady Bracknell has been wearied by her physical enfeeblement to such an extent that she finds herself envying persons who do not labour under similar restrictions.

Purple: may be either palatinate or imperial. Could therefore be carried either as an extremely subtle reference to her ladyship's alma mater, or as an indicator of her noble birth.

Yellow: denotes cowardice. To be carried on days when Lady Bracknell has had a close encounter with an arachnid of more than ordinarily fearsome aspect.